You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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