Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
