PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
ttyl tear gas
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
