so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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