what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize