so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
