I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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