My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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