We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
