imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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