the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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