dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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