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I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
