They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
