so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
