hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
