is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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