In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina