He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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