Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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