you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
