Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
