What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
