Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
