Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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