i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
