It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
