So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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