I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
