sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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