I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
