Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
