then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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