Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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