I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
