if i can run in heels then i can drive
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
