It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
