Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
