break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
