We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
