I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found puke in my bra..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize