Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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