so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
