Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
