She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
