Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need water and some morals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
