U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am mentally ready for anal.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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