If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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