I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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