So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I love having hate sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
