Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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