She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You took a bar mat shot.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
