I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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