Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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