ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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