1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
