you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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