who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
honey bunches of taint.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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