Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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