Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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