id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
