Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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