nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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