I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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