There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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